Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Big Brother, Below Deck and I Definitely Didn't Have the Best Time Ever with NPH.

There were 4 kids in the Keaton Family.
Alex, Jennifer, Andy and…MALLORY!
FIRST FIVES: Elke Raskob, Mike O'Dea, Bill McLaughlin, Adam Cohen & Bobby Aguilera

Sunday's Broadcast Top 5
NFL Football-NBC 9.8/26.6
Football Night in America-NBC 6.9/18.8
60 Minutes-CBS 2.5/10.4
Big Brother-CBS 2.4/7.4
Miss America-ABC 1.5/6.9
Sunday's Cable Top 5 (NEW)
Fear the Walking Dead-AMC 3.6/7.1
US Open Tennis Men's Finals-ESPN .8/3.1
American Dad-Adult Swim .8/1.7
Basketball Wives-VH1 .7/1.3
Great Food Truck Race-Food .6/1.5

Sunday's Top 5 Nielsen Twitter Ratings (Non Sports)
Miss America-ABC 326,000 Tweets
Fear the Walking Dead-AMC 66,000 Tweets
Big Brother-CBS 34,000 Tweets
I Am Cait-E! 13,000 Tweets
House of DVF-E! 6,000 Tweets

Monday's Broadcast Top 5
Dancing with the Stars-2.3/13.1
American Ninja Warrior-NBC 2.0/6.0
The Big Bang Theory-CBS 1.6/7.1
The Odd Couple-CBS 1.1/5.0
Scorpion-CBS 1.0/4.7

Monday's Cable Top 5 
NFL Late Game-ESPN 5.9/14.3
NFL Early Game-ESPN 5.3/13.5
WWE-USA 1.1/3.4
Love and Hip Hop-VH1 1.1/2.1
Black Ink Crew-VH1 1.0/1.9

Monday's Top 5 Nielsen Twitter Ratings 
Dancing with the Stars-ABC 191,000 Tweets
WWE Monday Night Raw-USA 168,000 Tweets
Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood-VH1 72,000 Tweets
American Ninja Warrior-NBC 28,000 Tweets
So You Think You Can Dance-FOX 23,000 Tweets

Big Brother
  • Hoooorrible dress Julie! Looked like a bad case of static cling. My husband thought Julie's dress looked like dried Pepto Bismol dripping down the bottle. 
  • Surprise…it was an eviction night!
  • What was up with Johnny Mac's idea to throw the veto? DUMB idea, glad he didn't actually do it. 
  • Do people wear long tube socks anymore?
  • Vanessa's alone time includes her face covered by her hat. What is she 7?
  • Did you see that Austin/Liz kiss closeup? Ewwww and honestly he's going to be devastated when she dumps his @ss. Mark my words, she will.
  • I'd love to see Julie's face when Les comes to her with his idea to plug CBS's new sitcom, "Life in Pieces" during BB. Eye roll? Yes or No? I say she totally does the eye roll but not directly TO his face but pays for it later in the evening. You know what I mean. 
  • YEAH! Johnny Mac won the VETO. Thank goodness he didn't throw it. 
  • Of course Johnny Mac saved himself and YEAH AUSTIN WENT UP on the block and yeah Austin was totalllllllly blindsided. He wasn't even wearing shoes when he went to meet Julie. Ewwwww that's gross. I could tell Julie was grossed out by his gnarly feet and hideous toes.
  • Vanessa cried when Austin was evicted. Guess who didn't cry? LIZ! Seee she is JUST NOT THAT INTO AUSTIN! Mark my words he's history. 
  • The HOH competition was stolen from Jimmy Kimmel's weekly "This Week in Un-necessary censorship. 
  • THRILLED THAT STEVE WON HOH. Keep Liz dump Vanessa. 
  • Total misuse of the word MYSELF-2
  • Total times Vanessa cried (fake and real tears) 3
Best Time Ever
Yes, I chose NPH over Bastard Executioner. Mainly because Bastard was 2 hours and I knew I wasn't staying up til Midnight. I took a spin class last night, I was exhausted at 8 when I got off the bike. Okay, I HATE typing this, but Best Time Ever gave me doosh chills. Here's the problem with it. It needs to be on Sunday's at 7pm not Tuesday's at 10pm. This is a cheesy AGT type thing where Mom's and kids and dogs and cats can all huddle around the TV together. This isn't late night, risque fare at all. I don't know if that's what I was expecting but I definitely wasn't expecting to be bored and feel a tiny bit embarrassed for NPH. It wasn't him either, it's just the entire concept. It's made for Sunday's at 7pm. Even then I'm not SO sure I'd be back but at least I'd be in a different frame of mind. I did enjoy Reese Witherspoon and Neil climbing to their death and zip-lining but all the surprises and live elements felt lost. I don't think the audience felt surprised even when THEY were part of the surprise. I also didn't get that Adam Levine, Blake, Gwen and Pharrell were THAT shocked when they realized that the German Voice host was really NPH. I don't know...something's missing. I was very disappointed watching and even more disappointed typing such a horrible review of the show. I hope they fix it and move it to 7pm on Sunday's in January. Bummer. 

Below Deck
Seriously you guys, this show is awesome. Not Emmy awesome, just reality show, ridiculous awesome. This season there is this girl Rocky on the boat. She has really zero desire to do anything but swim, flirt and piss Kate off. I can't even believe that the hottest dude on the boat likes her, she is truly BAT SH*T CRAZY, but Emile the super hot dude on the boat actually asked Captain Lee for time off to take Rocky out on a date and then got too wasted to close the deal. Classic. It's also worth tuning in just to meet the woman with the best resting b*tch face on earth. She knows it too and what I love is she embraces it. She owns it. The things this crew does for their $2000 tip are so crazy. Diving contests, toga parties, it's a great way to make a buck but also a bit demeaning. There was some good news/bad news in last nights episode. The hottest guy, Eddie, who's also the nicest guy, and the most faithful boyfriend ever, found out his girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him and lost his mind. Sure I'm sad for Eddie, but now that he no longer has that idiot to worry about, he can become a better part of the insanity and start taking that uniform OFF! See...good news/bad news! 


-Nina Tassler, current CBS Entertainment Chairman is stepping down. Glenn Geller is Les's new guy. Can't wait for Julie and Les to invite Glenn and his husband over for dinner. With Nina gone, there aren't any women running any of the big nets. I'm SO up for the job! Les could have called me, he could have gotten me cheap. Glenn Geller Glen Schmeller…CARRUBA, Les…CARRUBA. I'm thinking Nina Tassler and Anne Sweeney have been secretly meeting at a private spa off Mullholland somewhere in a canyon plotting their all female content consulting firm. If I'm right…CALL ME! I'll consult! 

-2 clips from last nights Tonight Show. First one is THE DEBATING GAME. Jimmy's Trump impression is getting better and better every night. He's got at least another year to perfect it or maybe 5 years!!! In the second clip Jimmy and Arianna Grande played the impression game and both of them hit it out of the park. Check them both out:

-Comedy Central gave Larry Wilmore and The Nightly Show nobody ever notices a second season. 

Wednesday's Trivia Question
This week I've been giving you all the kids in a TV family but one's missing. Your goal is to name the missing kid. We've done the 70's and 80's now...90's! 
The Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
There were 3 kids in the Banks family (not counting Will).
Hilary, Carlton, and…
Name the missing kid!

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